Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Five Languages of Love

Dear Online Diary,

Many but not all couples who are getting married have heard of Gary Chapman. He is the famous lecturer of love and marriage. The most popular of which is his lecture about the five different languages of love.

Is it really possible that love has five languages?

Believe it or not, yes it is. According to studies, many marriages ended in divorce because the couple failed to identify the primary language of love that their respective partner is using.

Exhibit A.
A wife complains that her husband do not feel that she love him even when she’s doing all the house chores. Her husband in return, says she do not love him anymore because his wife do not spend quality time with him.

Exhibit B.
A man says his wife do not love him anymore and is filing divorce. The reason – his wife is not as expressive as she was before. She rarely tells him how much she loves him. The wife contradicts the man’s accusation and says that she’s been giving him gifts and often go shopping for new clothes for him.

The problem – the two couples have miscommunication. They do not know the primary love language of their respective partners.

I’m sure we wouldn’t like our relationship to end like this. We want to give the best that we can to our lifetime partner but how?

The key is to identify the primary language of love which your partner is using. The five primary languages of love are:

1. Words of Affirmation
The person using this as the primary language needs verbal complement and words that build confidence about his or herself.

2. Receiving Gifts
The person using this love language enjoys gifts and presents from his/her partner. this is like an assurance that the other person is thinking about him/her.

3. Act of Service
This person feels most loved when his/her partner help him/her in carrying out a responsibility whether it’s a house chore, an errand or a work.

4. Quality Time
This person needs undivided attention from his/her partner. They appreciate spending long walk with their partner and great conversation.

5. Physical Touch
This person requires his/her partner to be intimate with him/her. They want their partner to embrace them, hold their hands or kiss them often to feel that they are loved.

H2B and I took a test together during the Before I Do seminar to see if we’re expressing our love correctly and to identify our primary language of love. We’re not using the same primary language of love but now that we know what the other requires, we have a better understanding of how to show our love to each other.

As what Gary Chapman said, fill the love tank of your partner by knowing his/her primary language of love.

Know more about Gary Chapman and his amazing works here. Before I Do workshop was held last November 14, 2009 at the Renaissance 2000, Ortigas, Pasig City. Related blog post can be read here.

{"I Heart You" photo by H2B =)}

Myspace Glowing text

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts with Thumbnails